Geography Alive! (Geography SO Real!)

Geography Alive! Comes with baby dolls that have maps drawn on their faces, as a globe! Don't remember what to do when memorizing the states? I do! Suck your thumb and go sit down in the corner and think about your life! Also, the dolls poops maps! A built-in printer in the rear end prints out maps on dark brown and green paper, sometimes very wet! Don't forget: If you horde cats, let them pee inside the tank that holds the ink! (This feature only available for the Stank Goddess!)

The Textbook
The textbook that comes with this awesome set is based on the TCi curriculum! Making fun of the Greeks and their weirdo beliefs is historically awesome! We also allow for better academics by viewing the textbook only and allowing you to use the Speaker feature: It will read the book to you in the sound of a saxophone - loud and annoying. Screeching out the notes as slow as possible is the best way to learn - even if it annoys your parents and teachers! The best part about it - instead of having a book online, you get pictures of the sky, no words! Anything as random as this could even be better than what most teachers expect!

The doll also knows how to drool, and will give you a tutorial on how to do it, plus an activity sheet! The best way to learn about how you learn to drool at night and wake up with a wet pillow is written in your Guiding Textbook! This textbook is the best way to learn history of today, not 1000 years ago! So,w hat are you waiting for? Jump in and start to learn how to be dumber than the 2012 Presidential Election - and hate every option, because there are no good ones! This election is the worst one, but last time was no better! Obama was thought to be helping us...maybe we were wrong! We need to get up off our butts and go for a run, and start using money for extra things, such as TV, Internet, and jewelry! Everything else should be free.

Don't take my word for it - geography Alive! will be the best home school ripoff you've ever laid your eyes on - a low price of $999.99!